The Clue in the Crumbling Wall is the first book in a while that really features Bess and George as Nancy's, ehm, partners in anti-crime again. The book draws us in with the story of a famous dancer, Juliana Johnson, who was engaged to a local wealthy recluse named Walter Heath (who owns Heath Castle, which seems pretty similar in description to Hearst Castle in California), and her disappearance. The dancer's sister, Mrs. Fenimore, and her daughter Joan are this book's charity case as they cannot claim the fortune until Juliana is found. Joan is described as a pretty little eight year old girl who has had brushes with the law.
Crap, really?!
When you're eight years old and have already had "brushes with the law,"plural, that's not a good sign. However, it would appear that little Joan's bad deeds area always egged on by a local neighborhood tough, Teddy Hooper. Teddy is a few years older and has already secured his bad boy rep by snatching purses, including Nancy's. Ohhh-ho-ho. Teddy, you just snatched the wrong purse, friend.
Nancy, of course, takes the case, and what ensues is an action-packed, though slightly repetitive storyline. Each day, Nancy, Bess and George go over to Heath Castle to look for clues and each day they are foiled for various reasons. Big dogs, sinister-looking men, George's clothes getting stolen...
What? Rewind.
Yes, George falls into a pond at one point when she and Nancy (Bess is of course waiting in the car because she could not make it past the dogs who apparently smell fear) are traversing the estate. She removes her clothes to dry them, evidently hanging out au natural until she can take off. Then, in a plot turn not unlike the horrifying tale of peeping/summer classic Porky's, a ten year-old boy swipes her clothes. Awwwwkkkkkwwaaarrrdd.
So, at this point in the story, Bess is trapped by the bloodthirsty hounds, George is nude, and Nancy is off doing whatever the hell she wants which is usually the case. I think she might have been trapped in a tower. But that seems a flimsy excuse while George is trying to fashion pants out of large plants and Bess is dealing with Kujo. So, I forgive the repetitiveness, because this whole sequence is awesome.
Oh, and by the way, the ten year old boy who steals George’s clothes is Teddy Hooper. Because of COURSE it is. It seems like this kid is really a triple threat in juvenile crime, so why the hell is he still allowed to run around unsupervised? And why is Bart Simpson for that matter? Oh, yeah. They’re white boys, I forgot. Anyhoo, I’m guessing Teddy’s parents have something to do with the goings-on at Hearst Castle. And, since it’s not super-integral to the plot, I’ll tell you: one of the dudes tearing apart the castle and stealing all the furniture is Mr. Hooper. But not the kindly old shopkeeper from Sesame Street. A total douche Mr. Hooper.
You might notice I haven't mentioned the villains yet. Well, that's because it's quite clear who the villain is from the beginning and he has a boring name. It's the estate lawyer. Because, apparently, all lawyers are crooked except for Carson Drew in this reality.
There is a character named Salty, a neighbor of Nancy's who sells clams from the river and occasionally helps the girls get over to the castle from the river side. Now, Salty is not a villain, but in fact is a retired SOMETHING. Can you guess what?
You can't? C'mon! What's the number one out-of-work occupation for older men in River Heights? That's right. He's a SAILOR. So, at this point, I imagine that the entrance sign to River Heights says: "Welcome to River Heights--Home of the Nation's Biggest Sailor Retirement Home! And also Nancy Drew!" Yep, pretty sure that's what it says.
So, with the help of Salty, her father, and Bess and George, Nancy finally finds a few valuable hints within the wall of the castle and tracks down Juliana Johnson. Her story turns out to be a sad one, as she was paralyzed in an auto accident and ran off because she couldn't see how Walter Heath could love her as anything but a graceful dancer. When she realizes that Heath has passed away, and that her family needs her, Juliana returns, deciding to turn Heath Castle into a home for disabled children. It's a feel good ending that would do any Lifetime movie proud. Although, in Lifetime movie form, it would be called A Dancer No More: The Juliana Johnson Story. Oh, Lifetime movies!
So, this one was a page-turner. I would generally give it a 4/5 just because it does get a bit old with the constantly returning to the castle only to have to escape, but the near farce that was George's clothes getting stolen and Bess sneaking into the villain's car only to be faced with the same pack of dogs, was just priceless. I give this one a 4 1/2 out of 5 mags!
Head Injuries: 1 (9 1/2 total)
Explosions: 2 (7 total)
Sailors: 1 more out of a number too big to count...
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