1937 Original Edition
This is one of the important “character introduction” titles as, in The Whispering Statue, we get to meet Nancy’s dog, Togo. Nancy, Bess and George are off at the park when a stray dog begins to follow them. They try and lose him (because, in truth, Togo is kind of a douchebag) but to no avail. Togo gets into all sorts of trouble, trampling flowers, sniffing crotches, and finally stealing a woman’s purse and dumping it in the pond. Seriously, a real d-bag of a dog. Unfortunately, the woman whose bag he stole was supposed to give a speech and her notes were ruined even after Nancy had the bag fished out of the pond.
Yes, that’s right. Togo is as destructive as Chandler Bing searching for topless tennis players on the interwebs.
Anyhoo, Nancy helps the woman, Mrs. Owen, recreate her speech and the woman is very grateful. When Nancy mentions that she will be vacationing in Sea Cliff, Mrs. Owen mentions an old estate that has a marble statue that resembles Nancy. Because this woman is randomly connected to Sea Cliff, of course, which is on the New England coast. Everybody knows everybody everywhere in these books.
When Nancy, Bess and George head to Sea Cliff for their “vacation” (it’s never a real vacation with Nancy, to Bess and George’s chagrin), Togo somehow escapes the Drew home and follows them there. More destruction and crotch sniffing ensues.
A brief aside: Since people seem so fond of pet pictures on the internet (“Awwww, a dog spooning a cat. Precious!” …etc.) I think I will post a pictorial series called: “Your pet is a huge douchebag.” I’m sure it will be WILDLY unpopular.
While the girls are en route to Sea Cliff, they overhear a young man clearly trying to swindle an older lady who has very obvious wads of cash stuffed in her coat (revealed earlier by Togo the Ginormous Douchebag). Nancy tries to warn the old lady but is harshly rebuffed, and the sleazy younger man walks off with her when they reach their destination.
While in Sea Cliff, Nancy and company find the old estate with the whispering statue, which does indeed look like Nancy. Doppelganger #2! She discovers that the estate belonged to the recently deceased Mr. Conger, who had a long-lost daughter who ran away. Nancy keeps an eye on the old house, which is about to crumble into the sea due to loose ground and storms, but also manages to get mixed up in the affairs of Carson Drew’s client, Mr. Owen.
Wait, Mr. OWEN? Like Mrs. Owen from the beginning of the book?! Guys…do you think there will be a connection?
Yep, there totally is.
As it turns out, Mr. Owen was told that his wife was killed twenty years ago. Similarly, Mrs. Owen was told that her husband died. The elderly couple is reunited (and it feels so gooooood!), but Nancy can’t shake the feeling that there is another piece missing from the puzzle.
She keeps returning to the estate, at one point met by an incredible racially stereotyped Italian contractor who might as well be named Mario or Luigi. Anyhow, Mario or Luigi has a monkey named Jocko who runs off into the estate, where Nancy follows. She overhears the evil man from the train, named Joe Mitza, plotting to steal Fanny Morse’s money (the old woman from the train). Nancy follows every lead until she discovers that Joe Mitza is planning to con Fanny Morse, while also instructing Mario or Luigi to steal all of the marble statues from the old estate and sell them.
But, just as I think it’s going to be a boring wrap-up to a lighter mystery, we find out that Fanny Morse has known Joe Mitza’s plan all along. She is really Bernice Conger, the runaway daughter of Mr. Conger and confidence woman! She was also married to Mr. Owen’s no-good business partner and told both Owens that their spouses were dead. She also gave up a son all those years ago…JOE MITZA! You see — it’s all connected!
Alright, so it’s not exactly the Keyser Soze reveal, but it was pretty nice. I give this one 4 1/2 out of 5 mags, with a little taken away for some repetition and godawful stereotyping, but some added for the twist ending. Oh, and the monkey. Monkeys will always get you a little extra.
Nancy Doppelganger Count: 1 (2 total)
Number of times the word “douchebag” is used in this review: 3(4 if you count d-bag as a quaint nickname, 5 if you count that, AND the word douchebag being used here in the post-list. Oops, then 6.)
1970 Revised Edition
So, up until this point, I’ve been squarely in favor of the re-writes over the original editions (except Shadow Ranch, a monstrosity of incongruous plotholes) . The original editions tend to be longer, more ludicrous, and with more like “holy shit, is this really happening?!” racisms. However, in this case the original story was not only completely different, but far better than the re-write.
In the 1970 edition, Nancy is called on by a Mrs. Merriam, who suspects that she is not receiving the proper cut for the art she is selling through a dealer. Somehow, the crooks in this book know that Mrs. Merriam is going to the Drews and bust into the house within the first 5 pages, attacking Bess, George, Hannah, and Carson while Nancy hides the older Mrs. Merriam upstairs.
This is where my issues begin. First of all, aren’t’ these thieves just calling attention to the shady nature of their business by sending thugs to attack people who try and reveal them? Second of all, if these thieves are aware of Nancy Drew’s reputation, don’t they know that busting into her home will only put her on their trail?
Thirdly (and perhaps most importantly), what in the hell makes burglars and thieves think that wearing a small black mask with eye-holes will somehow conceal their identities? We’re not talking about a ski mask — just a simple raccoon-style burglar’s mask. We can see your eyes, dudes. Do you really think that covering up the top of your cheeks and the bottom of your forehead is going to stymie police artists? Get real, guys.
Of course, Nancy takes the case, but Carson Drew suggests she work in disguise, as a young dark-haired girl named Debbie Lynbrook. That way she can work undercover with the art dealer that might be cheating Mrs. Merriam. This is another point of issue for me. Nancy, disguised as Debbie Lynbrook (in self-tanner and a dark wig), is still traveling with and constantly followed by Bess, George, and Ned. If the crooks know Nancy Drew, why wouldn’t they assume this strange new girl is Nancy Drew in disguise?
They don’t discover it, however, and that’s when this book basically turns into an episode of Smallville to me. Time after time, Nancy is almost discovered as the girl detective she is, but it doesn’t come out until the very end, at which point you kind of feel like these criminals are too stupid to live.
Oh, yeah. And there’s a whispering statue I guess. It’s about as important as the broken locket in #11.
Also, while Togo appears in this novel, they pull a Shadow Ranch Rewrite and make it seem like he’s been there all along. In this one, he’s a cute little obedient dog. Where’s Togo the Ginormous Douchebag? I think we all missed him.
This one was a bit of a snoozer. Even the explosion was kind of boring. I give this one 2 1/2 out of 5 mags.
Doppelganger Count: 1 (2 total)
Explosions: 1 (4 total)
Douchebag references: Only 1! Which is BOOOOO!
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