Book #56: The Thirteenth Pearl

The Nancy Drew Project: Nancy Drew reviews by a pop-culture obsessed and F-bomb dropping madwoman: Book #56 The Thirteenth Pearl

TW/CW: Deals with racial stereotypes/slurs

Oh, crap. Where to start? I really wish that this wasn’t the last Nancy Drew to review in the O.G. project, because it’s gonna be bad, guys. But I guess that just means I’ll have to keep up with reviewing my favorites over the years. When I first opened this book, I was pretty sure how this review would go from the opening summary (below)…

So, yeah. Basically this whole mystery starts because a jeweler, Mr. Moto (the most sympathetic person in the book, but definitely relegated to stereotype and also fits of fainting) is robbed. A “clever” crook has stolen the titular thirteenth pearl off a rich white lady’s necklace and he’s afraid that the insurance payout will shut down his business. Unfortunately, I don’t have the strong sense that this guy will make it as a jeweler, considering that when Nancy et. al. show up, ANOTHER dude has just robbed his place while he stepped into the back, leaving his merchandise unprotected. I mean…I love you Mr. Moto, but if this was “America’s Next Top Jeweler,” Tyra would be giving you your walking papers by now.

What ensues is a mystery that, like many others in the series, entails the villains seemingly chasing the Drews from place to place. Carson and Nancy go to Japan to investigate the possible dirty dealings of World Wide Gems and the disappearance of the rich white lady, Mrs. Rossmeyer, but most of the mystery seems to be the “slippery Italian” (sigh) criminal, Benny Caputo jumping out at them and yelling “Hey! Don’t investigate us!” Not the right method, dude. And now Nancy is even more convinced that some criminal ring has infiltrated World Wide Gems.

During the whole book, I periodically find myself wondering why I should care that ONE of this rich lady’s abundance of jewels was stolen, but then I remember Mr. Moto. Most of this mystery is too scattered to create a focus; while World Wide Gems is definitely at the center of it, the numerous disguises and elaborate fake pearl cult have me scratching my head at the end. Like, I get it. In the beginner’s manual So You’ve Decided to Infiltrate an International Gem Company [oh, if only this was a book!], they tell you that you might need a cover story. But a fake pearl cult? I mean, did they have to register as a religion? How did they recruit followers? It seems like they had to use an awful lot of jewels to recruit people. Doesn’t that negate the money they’re making? Why expend all of this effort getting a rando criminal chick to impersonate Mrs. Rossmeyer (because the real Mrs. Rossmeyer is either in Paris shopping or dead in a gutter — I really don’t care at this point) just to steal what seems like INDIVIDUAL gems, one at a time?

These criminals don’t seem very smart.

So, now that I’ve dealt with the mystery critique…HOLY SHIT THE RACISM. Look. It’s clear that whoever wrote this book did a lot of research on Japan. A lot of the information was factually correct. However, they clearly read a book called An Old White Colonist Dude-Bro’s Hot Take on Wacky Japanese Culture and based it all on that because…HOLY SHIT. THE RACISM. As referenced above, there is actual yellowface in this book, which I don’t feel qualified to truly take on as a white lady, but I will tell you it’s BAD. Nancy dresses as a Japanese girl to blend in and spy on people, and she is essentially dressed as a geisha. She balks at the “weird” food put in front of her and giggles at the crazy customs over in Japan. Oh, Nancy…you’re better that this. Or ARE you?

At one point, Nancy and her friends are chasing a criminal and ask a local for a description. They are, and I quote “thrilled” when the criminal is described as Italian, and I have to tell you (even though this was back when Italian folks like myself were just starting to be considered white) I was thrilled too. I was actually physically relieved that this Italian criminal would buffer me from the relentless racism towards East Asian people for another few pages. And see how problematic my response is? Because on some level, my instinct is “I wish these books were filled with more white people so I won’t have this face (pictured below) frozen in terror for the rest of the book.”

And that, boys and girls, is how white guilt makes the lack of diversity in literature even worse. We’re so desperate to be blameless and not to be criticized that we just don’t try. As awful as the depictions in these books are, we need to learn from them, not just whitewash characters from different backgrounds. Because our COMFORT should not come with this price tag.

Whew. Okay, I know I got HELLSA ranty for a Nancy Drew review for a second. But…needed to be said.

The depictions in the book are what you would expect. While some are accurate, they are presented from such a white gaze that they are inherently problematic.

I wish I could spend this book talking about the mystery, where it worked and where it fell flat, but the truth is, I could barely make it through the pages this time around. I ended up skimming just to avoid the dropping sensation in my stomach every time someone is referred to as “An Asiatic” or when Carson chuckles when their host says “Ah, so.” I wish I could tell you I was able to look at it with the critical eye of a historian, but I’m just a girl reviewing Nancy Drew (And also…[Phil Hartman voice] “I’m just a caveman”). I have no such objectivity. I both love these books, AND I admit they are deeply wrong in many ways. And that’s just the truth.

1/5 Mags

Head Injuries: .5 (fell after being chloroformed), 24.5 total (….and her brain would be swiss cheese by now)

I hope you’ve enjoyed this ride with me. From here on out, I think I will hand pick my favorites, starting with perhaps my favorite of all time, The Secret of Shady Glen. See you then!

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Notes from the author: Part 56 of 56 in The Nancy Drew Project

Review Notes: Scores are out of 5 “mags” or magnifying glasses.

If you feel inclined to read more from me, you can find my “hilarious” cancer survival tale here, my Nancy Drew Review Project on Blogger and my writing in fiction form in Suspense Magazine and The Sleuth. Also, follow me on Medium, Instagram, and also Twitter even though it’s garbage.

Thanks for reading!