Book #12: The Message in the Hollow Oak

The Nancy Drew Project: Nancy Drew reviews by a pop-culture obsessed and F-bomb dropping madwoman: Book #12: The Message in the Hollow Oak

Buried treasure!

Jealousy!

Abduction!

Skeletons!

Creepy perverts!

Towboat disasters!

A bitchy character that’s not a villain but we all get to relish in hating her anyway!

Alright, guys. I don’t want to get ahead of myself but…this might be my second 5/5 mags. It is…GLORIOUS.

The plot starts out with Nancy getting a mysterious call from her Aunt Eloise in New York. Eloise’s friend, Boyce Osborne, is a private detective and has been trying to discover the mystery of a centuries-old buried treasure. A french explorer, named Pere Francois, has left clues on various oak trees in the area with arrows pointing to the titular hollow oak. Of course, it’s been so long that some of the clues have been destroyed or removed. The detective needs to return to his clients but wants Nancy to finish the case. The only glitch is that Nancy will have to stay with a group of college archaeology students and help out with their dig.

Because Nancy is OF COURSE skilled in archaeology, she quickly accepts and flies out to rural Illinois to start her search. Nancy soon meets up with her group, including Julie Anne (super-smart friend of Ned’s) Art (future foil of Ned), Bob (the soon-to-be-abducted!), Theresa (group leader), and Claire Warwick (uppity know-it-all asshole).

Oh wait! I forgot something important. On the flight to Illinois, Nancy had this epic creeper as her seatmate. Clearly a man in his thirties/forties, he keeps winking at her and attempting to go through her purse. Um, gross, dude. Nancy is barely out of high-school. Is this grotesque debauchee simply your average airplane pervert who forgot his copy of “Barely Legal” in checked luggage? Is he this guy?

Spoiler alert: NO. He’s totally the villain. Boyce Osborne had warned Nancy that a man named Kit Kadle was also after the treasure. He’s skilled in the art of disguise a’la’ The List of Adrian Messenger and definitely ready to get Nancy out of the

way.

As Nancy tries to avoid Kadle and seek out the clues to find the treasure, she gets help from her group — especially Art, who clearly wants to major in Nancy Drew instead of archaeology. Of course, Nancy doesn’t help matters by ignoring the problem and continuing to ask Art to drive her into town on his motorcycle. It’s a crush so incredibly obvious that you kind of want to grab Nancy and remind her that people exist within mysteries and that they matter.

Poor Art is devastated when it is announced that Ned, Burt, Dave, Bess and George are flying in to help Nancy solve the remainder of the mystery, which is very quickly realized by Ned when he arrives. Oh, and Ned is not happy. Bess tries to solve the problem by getting Art to pay attention to Ned’s friend Julie Anne, but ends up just making everything and everyone more awkward.

Even with the overt sexual tensions afoot, the group manages to sift through a series of obstacles — one of the boys, Bob Snell is kidnapped by Kadle, George is almost crushed in a towboat disaster, and they all have to deal with the aforementioned uppity know-it-all beeyotch Claire Warwick. She’s one of those girls who feels the need to correct everyone, but with misinformation. I mean, my dear husband is an over-corrector, but at least he’s RIGHT. Claire Warwick is constantly spouting off at the mouth about how she heard the Hopi Indians might have beheaded their young as a sacrifice to crystal-skulled aliens or something. It might not have been that bad, but if the History Channel had existed back in 1972, I would have thought she was just regurgitating one of their terribly inaccurate specials.

Could Native Americans actually be the aliens that put us on this planet? This crude photo-shopped image of an alien in a native headdress is proof positive that the answer is…maybe? OR YES!

The History Channel blows. Also, this whole shebang is SUPER problematic in reference to Native people, which is not surprising given that Nancy Drew often has this issue of pigeonholing and stereotyping. Anyhoo, with the help of her friends, Nancy manages to track down the treasure, find Bob Snell, and trap the nefarious Kit Kadle. With NO help from Nancy, Bess is finally able to direct Art’s attention to the much more actually and emotionally available Julie Anne.

Awkwardness canceled! Mystery solved! Yaaayyyy!

Buuuuuutttt….still the cringe worthy racism, so…

4/5 mags

N.D. Head Injury Count: 1 (5 total)